I am more than a month late posting this, and the irony of sharing a New Year’s resolution not only 34 days into the year but into the second month is not lost on me. That's not to say I haven’t been thinking about this blog, or that I’ve been avoiding it, or dreading it, or anything of the sort… but even as I write those words, I know they’re not entirely true. Because I have been dreading this.
Not for a silly reason, like lacking a resolution or being uninspired. No, the reason is bigger than that. And it's not my resolution (I'll get to that in a minute), but something to keep in mind as you weave your way through this blog. It’s been a quiet, persistent thought, growing louder and more insistent over time, until now, when I finally have no choice but to acknowledge it.
It’s simple. It’s finite. And it’s time: I won’t be writing blogs anymore.
It feels strange to say that out loud (or type it out, rather). It feels even stranger to accept it. But as I looked back at my resolution going into 2024, it made sense. My goal going into this year was to slow down, to take a step back from the grind, and to embrace the small joys that I had ignored in my rush to get things done. I wanted to savor random weeknights with friends at a wine bar, spontaneously wander through a street festival when I saw one, and just say 'yes' to the little detours that make life more colorful. And for the first few months of 2024, I was doing it. I was back to writing multiple blogs a month, making time for friends, traveling, and simply living in a way I had promised myself I would.
But then, restoring_sean happened. And before I knew it, it consumed me.
House projects ramped up and refinancing the Estate took over my life. One moment, it was spring. Then summer blurred past. Then fall disappeared in a blink. Suddenly, it was winter again, and the blog—once my steady companion—had been pushed aside for nearly seven months. Again.
I can’t tell you how many blog drafts are sitting unfinished right now (actually, I can: five, most of them no more than a paragraph or two). Each time I got down on myself for not writing, I told myself, “Just get a few weeks ahead with the YouTube videos, and then you’ll have time to sit down and write.”
But it never happened.
Creating those videos was never as simple as just filming, uploading, and calling it a day. The first 30-something episodes required scripts, scripts that were triple the length of any blog post I’d written. Then there were hours of filming, plus 7-12 hours of editing, SEO research, crafting thumbnails, refining titles, and navigating an entirely new platform that is essentially social media. Then, this past October, something amazing happened: the restoring_sean channel took off. More views, more engagement, more messages, more attention. And that meant I had to give that attention back—to a sudden audience, to supporters, to the people who took time out of their day to watch and comment and connect with me. On top of it all, my interior design projects started gaining momentum, expanding into new cities, taking on larger scopes with new clients.
And this is good. This is really, really good. I don’t want to slow down or hit pause. Maybe this momentum will last a year before the unpredictable tides of life shift again? Maybe it’s the beginning of something lasting, something long-term? I don’t know. But I do know this: to keep going, something has to give.
And this blog, this beautiful, messy, nostalgic blog of 193 posts scattered across nearly 14 years... 'musings of a self-proclaimed author' will be that sacrifice.
That leads me to my new resolution—my last one on here, at least for a long while. I came up with it during my Christmas break from work, and it just felt right. My resolutions have always been about easing some kind of pressure in my life. Last year, I wanted to slow down, which backfired spectacularly, given how much busier I ended up making myself. And looking at where I was a year ago—hell, even six months ago—feels like looking at a different version of myself entirely.
So, what is the 2025 resolution? This is going to be the year of the hustle.
Not hustlin’ in the cheeky sense, but hustling for my future. This year will be about working. Creating. Pushing forward. I’ll be churning out weekly YouTube videos, clocking 40+ hours at my day job, expanding my design work more and more, all while still working on my own home, planning my high school class’s 21st (20-Year Do-Over) reunion, making time for family and friends, traveling when I can, and closing out the year with my 40th birthday—a milestone that will culminate in a week and a half at Disney World and Universal Studios.
It will be a big year of big projects and big dreams. And to remain sane through it all, one of the creative endeavors must fade away.
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| 10.02.2011 |
This blog has been with me through so much... I think ultimately, it’s where I found my voice. When I started in October of 2011, I was 25 and heartbroken, sitting in my bedroom at my parents’ house, typing through my pain and trying to find the humor. For years, it was my outlet. My therapy. My roadmap. But for a while now, I’ve been writing here out of obligation rather than passion. And when that happens, when something starts to feel like a duty rather than a joy, it loses the spark that made it special in the first place.
Even now, writing this, I’ve stepped away from my computer at least a dozen times, not wanting to put these words down. Because saying goodbye is never easy, even when it’s time. Even when it's to me.
At 39, I’m just not that person anymore. When I need to work through something, I write it in a journal or a Word document, never meant to be seen by anyone but me. There was a time (not too long ago, really) when I would share my thoughts with such a raw, unfiltered honesty, and maybe that’s something you only realize in hindsight, looking back and wincing at the vulnerability of it all.
But I don’t regret a single word. I don’t regret having this space to document my journey.
Times change. Priorities shift. And sometimes, even when it aches more than you expect, you have to lay certain pieces of the past down so you can carry new things forward. Not necessarily better things, just… new things. My creativity, whatever manic state it is currently in, has new places to go now. The YouTube channel allows me to express myself in a different way, a more tangible, living, breathing way, and a large part of me feels like that's just the new form the blog takes.
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| 1.29.2025 |
I won’t say I’ll never return to blogging. “Never” is too absolute, too final, and I’ve learned not to trust absolutes. But for now, this is goodbye.
If my words over the past 13+ years have given you even a moment of comfort, laughter, or reflection, then I am grateful.
Words are powerful things.
I’ve always believed they can be either weapons or warm blankets. In a world as unpredictable as 2025 has already become, I hope you wield your words wisely—offering warmth to those who need it and standing firm against those who deserve the resistance.
Thank you for being here, for reading, and, most of all, for allowing me to share my world with you. It was often a mess, and it frequently still is, but I find a lot of beauty and warmth in it. So, until... whenever, I suppose? Take care. And finally...
Ciao. For now (c:
