For me, the hardest part about not being in a relationship with someone is how I seldom have a positive reason to celebrate an anniversary. Sure you've got the anniversaries of your parents and friends, but that's just a card for them (if even that.) The fun anniversaries are those where you're celebrating one month of being together with someone... one month since your first date... six months since the inception of the relationship, etc. Once you are outside of a relationship, you start looking at anniversaries in a different light and boiling them down to the ugly things; one four months since you cried about it, one year since you broke up, two years since you last spoke, etc. Today, however, we are celebrating one of those rare single-person anniversaries. Which one you ask?!?!
THE TWO YEAR
ANNIVERSARY OF
MUSINGS OF A SELF-PROCLAIMED AUTHOR!
With two years down, that absolutely and without-a-doubt means we can move into the third iteration, not alone but in a group of happiness and rainbows! Do you want to know what I love about calling these the "iterations?" It's because an iteration is something continuously building. More commonly it is a phrase used in mathematics and is often called "successive approximation." I take the term and apply it to the blogs for one key reason: by referring to each year of my writing as an iteration, I am taking the previous years and compounding what I've learned in order to keep moving forward.
I think choice is a wonderful thing, don't you? Our choices more than anything else are what define who we are. They allow us to change from who we were into who we will be and we alone are the ones to control it. I really enter this third year of writing with a clean conscience; no more collateral damage, no over-achieving projects clouding my thought process. Just me being me and looking forward.
Last year when I sat down to pump the second iteration out, I was still in the midst of a mess and wondering if it was going to clean itself up (as you always hope messes will do) or if it was going to crash and burn all around me (as they tend to do, regardless.) I was chipping away at the 26 Golden Things and trying to keep a weather eye on the horizon, some days succeeding and some days really losing. It was borderline easy in 2012 to write blogs so frequently because I was constantly updating you with the Golden Things and it gave me more than enough reason to write.
In the first year of this page, I wrote 40 blogs.
I thought I had been doing a really piss poor job this year of doing the same, but as I sat down to write this I counted and realized in the last 12 months I still wrote another 32 blogs. That's nothing to sneeze at by any means and really, it ended up being close to the previous tally. Not that this is a race or anything, and if it were it would only be a race against myself... and I suppose I just said a proverbial mouthful. But you get my drift, yeah? The blogs seem a little lonely to me at times and I feel like oceans rest between each entry, but when I take a step back and look at the collection of works I'm continuously building, I have to smile and realize how I'm doing something mostly for myself that will only build my character that much more.
Because obviously I lack character(...) and I'll add again (.......... (those are moments of silence, in case you can't tell(...)))
It's difficult for me to not write about where I want to go from here or where I've been to GET here, because that's best left to the New Year's Eve blogs and not these iterational (iterational is not a word, apparently (using it anyway)) blogs. I will say I am pleased with how far I've come, and it's alright for me to say so, right?
I'm still shocked I'm writing these things, to be perfectly honest. It isn't easy to pop blogs out, sometimes (and most times) when you've really not got much to say. I was always such a proponent of starting things and never finishing them so to work on something that is technically NEVER finished but instead evolves and changes with me, is another experience all together. In a year I've gone from sitting and writing these in bedroom at my parent's house to now sitting in the office of my own place (obviously in just my underwear ) and halfway thinking about what next year will bring. Still living here in this apartment? I dunno. Still writing? Of course.
Last year I left you with Muse's "Madness" because I couldn't get it off my mind and this year I think I'll swing you toward the Naked and Famous' "Hearts Like Ours." I get to see them next week in Chicago with the best @markstyleme and my wonderful Jillybean, and I just can't wait. There are so so so many more blogs to come so please keep reading them. For everyone who has been reading up until now, thank you SO much for sticking with me on the journey. Keep spreading the word (or start spreading it if you haven't) and keep sharing the links (or start sharing if you haven't (dick.))
Above all it all just keep laughing. With me... or even at me. God knows I do.
Like she sings below, there's an animal inside. Indeed (c:
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