Hey, yeah, sorry... it's been a while on here. I meant to write about my trip to Texas, and never got around to it. And then I meant to write about the fantastic happenings in my love life, and neglected to do that as well. I'm sure I will soon enough, but first I wanted to take a moment to pump my thoughts out to the ether in regards to today, Thanksgiving, and to the deets as of late that currently bring me to my trusty laptop.
It's interesting to look back where my life was a year ago today. Turkey day with the family, in love with the dreaded ex after 2 1/2 years of tumultuous ups and downs, getting ready to hunt for houses in a week or two, frantically beginning the process of painting pictures for Christmas presents and just on the cusp of a nasty bout of the flu. The interesting thing is how this year reflects that and yet shows a different setting all together. Turkey day with the family though no longer in love with anyone. In the beginning stages of a new relationship that both elates and scares me at the same time. No house hunting, but a calm determination on Christmas presents that currently reside on the floor in the corner of my bedroom. I also just wrapped up a bout of sickness, though the sore throat still lingers.
I thought a lot today about what I am most thankful for and I feel that I am only now beginning to figure it out as my fingers dance across the keyboard. I know most people say something totally self-deprecating like "I am so thankful for my family, without whom I would never survive!" or "I'm thankful for all of the little things God gives me, because without Him I wouldn't be the same." I think my thanks are a little different from the norm because they go out to myself. Of course I am thankful for the people in my life; my parents, my siblings, by friends. Don't get me wrong on that. However, I would be lying if I used them as a cover for the things I realized and understood this year, about myself and about the circumstances I found myself in several times throughout.
This Thanksgiving, I am most thankful for my intuition. Without it, I would not be where I am today. Without it, I would be living in a house that was broken from the start, with a man who was broken from the start, in a relationship that was broken from the start. Without it, I would be staring blandly at the pages of my book and tinkering away with words when I could be out enjoying the company of a guy that for some odd reason, thinks I am special. Without it, I wouldn't have given an airbrushed superhero a shot on Halloween for fear of disappointment in someone else. I think that intuition gets everyone through the day; not your friends or your family, but you. That little voice inside you that guides you along. Obviously there are some of you that are just retarded and cannot function without the advice of those around you, but I must count myself out of that group. I used to... but I found what I needed to and feel I can make decisions for myself without the input of the peanut gallery any longer. Huzzah?
The interesting thing for next year will be to look back once again and see where I was. Will I be in love again? I don't know. Will I be calm over Christmas gifts or losing my mind as I have in the past? I don't know that either. What I do know is that in 2011 I finally put aside the "other people" in my life and their feelings, and started paying attention to my own. I don't think it's ever a bad thing to look inward at yourself and decide if you are pleased with what you've become... I also don't think it's wise to sit and pound one of these blogs out knowing you have to be in bed to work a 6 am shift for Black Friday in what is supposed to be a record-breaking year. These sorts of blogs tend to be all over the place. But what do I know?
I'm just a boy in a shop, after all. Happy Thanksgiving (c:
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