Bet you weren't expecting THAT to come out of my mouth! By all accounts it was, however, and that is so refreshing that I just don't know what else to say about it. It really wasn't going to be hard to top the months preceding but sometimes that's just the way it is.
Like Bruce Hornsby sang.
Typically I wait until the day of to post these monthly updates and for the most part it's always fine to do so, but then there are days like today where I am struggling to find something to write about. Seeing as nothing too huge happened in my life this month (that I can freely share to the masses) I am going to start by telling you about something I am grateful for this month. I go through old pins on my Pinterest account before I write blogs to see if anything jumps off the screen at me and tonight it was this one:
I'm so thankful that I know who I am. What I am, too. A good friend of mine is going through some hard times when it comes to fairly big life choices and it's left me with a lot of time to think about the same choices I made years ago. I think it's most often a pretty easy thing to forget what you went through at certain points in time and when it has been years since, you treat it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Of course I'm referring to "coming out" but this isn't going to drag on by any means.
I remember coming out officially the summer after senior year and how absolutely terrifying an experience it was. There were a lot of friends that supported me, my siblings included, so telling my parents (the scariest part of it) meant I had complete back-up from a great support group. The interesting part of the experience came when I started working at Express. It was pretty soon after the "event" and I was proud of myself, but at the same time I didn't know how to let new people know.
You don't just walk up to co-workers you've never met before and say "Hey, I'm Sean. Oh and I'm gay, LOLZ!!!(c;"
That stuck with me for several years. How do you mention organically through conversation one of the things you consider to be a defining characteristic of yourself without sounding desperate for people to know? I suppose at the time I really did think it was the only interesting thing about me. Keep in mind this was 9 years ago and since then, the gay community has made pretty huge leaps and bounds into the lexicon of society. So back then, while it was "mostly" ok, it wasn't as acceptable as it is today. Even though it's not THAT acceptable today, it's also not THAT big of a deal anymore.
It was a few years later when I started achieving things and doing things that set me apart from other people that I realized being gay is just a small part of who I am. If people know then they know, big deal! I wish I'd known back then what I know now, but maybe coming out to every single person I met just made it easier on me in the long run. The thing I hate is when sometimes you meet people who think being gay means you have to wear a big huge hat that says "FLAMER!" and walk around in a pride parade because you're guilty by association.
Let me get off my soapbox before I start rambling.
In the end I need to be patient, others need to suck it up, and we all need to smile. I'm already smiling, of course, because that's what I do. I have the wrinkles to prove it. Moving on.
The only thing big in May I feel privileged to share is that I finally punched out a video blog. It was cutting it close to the wire but I did it! There were a bunch of reasons it took so long, mostly due to me not knowing what format I wanted to take the blog into and all that. Finally I realized that who better to talk about than the other parts of my schizo personality, the multiples? First they needed names!
I use the same three every year in my Christmas thank you cards. One with glasses, one with aviators, and one that messes the picture up. When creating other "multiple" pictures I end up using random quantities so I've officially decided to narrow it down to just the three of them. Each represents a certain part of my personality so it seemed only appropriate to develop those parts into "full" personalities.
First you've got Lane, the leader. He's also the mean one. You'll always know it's him because he'll be wearing reading glasses. He's a perfectionist, he doesn't fail at anything he does, and he points out the obvious flaws all. The. Time.
Then there's Chip, self-promoter extraordinaire and the "popular" one. Modeled after my best @markstyleme, Chip is loud and fun, over the top and always the life of the event.
And of course we have Calvin, the innocent one. And admittedly not the sharpest tool in the shed. Always sweet, believes in the positive, and loves to smile.
The format is still evolving but I felt to jump right into things I just needed to get the introductions out of the way and show the world a glimpse of what is coming. So, here's the first vlog:
Otherwise it was a pretty quiet month. A good month, but a quiet one.
So what else happened in May? I did a lot more kissin', emptied out my storage unit once-and-for-all (and got my full security deposit back today, natch), was told to turn down my music by that bitch in apartment #5 and then subsequently told her to stick it a few days later during a second altercation. Powered my way through three seasons of three different tv shows, cut my hair off, realized why I don't EVER want electronic bill-pay ever again, had my first hotdog of the summer, and burned the FUCK out of myself by not paying attention to a wonderful thing called "solar radiation." The peeling reminds me.
Aside from that, I'm spent. Hope this wasn't a waste of time; I'm sure June will be ever more thrilling. Ciao for now!
yep! that's sean :) loveyou!
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