Sometimes I end up getting panicky at this time of the year because with summer being so typically short in Wisconsin if you aren't doing "fun stuff" right away you start feeling like you're missing out on it. I say "fun stuff" loosely as clearly it just means being outside and enjoying the heat, but you know what I mean. Last year I had such a list of crap to get done during the summer for "26 Golden Things" that the season was over before I knew it (albeit it was still a fantastic summer.)
But June had poop weather this year for the first couple weeks so it wasn't easy to get out and about from the safety of being in-doors. I took the weather as a chance to get over the breakup (still don't think I am, but that's alright for now) by getting back to my creativity. Nothing makes you work harder on a project than trying desperately not to text someone, and that's a fact!
I did decide recently that it's about time for me to start dating again. Casually, which is a concept I really struggle with. I've always been the kind of guy where if I like someone, I'll go on a date with them. If that date goes well, we go on a few more. If those few more go just fine, then we are in a relationship. Bing-bang-boom. Trouble with that is I usually go into the relationship because I feel like I owe it to the person and sometimes (most times) it just doesn't end up working out. I know the last reason to enter a relationship should be because you feel guilted into it, but that's me. I won't say it's the charm of me being me, because that shit ain't charming.
So I'm trying this new concept (to me) of casual dating where I go on a couple dates and see if anything clicks. It's difficult for me because I have a very guilty conscience and I start feeling like I'm being a liar to these people. Even though I owe them nothing, and nothing is really happening, I still feel it. Why is that? Have any of you felt that way? I guess it boils down to me usually being the one that gets let down by someone else, so when I have to do it it is just a completely foreign concept to me. There are worse things in the world than that though and I have to remind myself it's okay to try to get to know someone and then decide they aren't what is right for you. I guess it's tough shit for them? Sure.
I find that after I write a paragraph I sit back, sigh, and then jump on Facebook for a moment or two. Just an aside for ya'll.
My friend Jill and I went to the Dells for a couple days two weeks ago, just like we did last year, and again it was pretty amazing. Last year I was kind of sour over it because right off the bat I broke the screen on my camera and you know how that song and dance goes. We went to Noah's Ark (America's largest waterpark for those not "in the know") for a day and had an absolute blast. It was nerve wracking last year to get on the Scorpion's Tail (an inverted watercoaster) but this year we went three or four times because the lines were so short and it was just too much damn fun. Got a wonderful burn on my shoulders, too.
Oh, AND I got another vlog together! The idea had been floating in my head for a few weeks and then the ruling on DOMA and Proposition 8 got me to actually sit down and do it. Amongst other things. I need to figure out how to make a more exciting intro though because it's kind of a snooze and not very enthralling. Good things in time! What's interesting about making these videos though is slipping into character when I need to.. Calvin in particular. I don't consider myself a very innocent person so it just astounds me to watch myself as him and those sadsadsad eyes when he gets in trouble. I love it. I hope you do too.
I need to start taking notes through the month because sitting down to write these at the last minute is a damn nightmare. I've said it before and I'm sayin' it again! Thank you so much for continuing to read (as I wrote that, Paolo made this really creepy/weird sigh behind me and it scared me) and for continuing to share the blog. The views are going up up and away and I have you all to thank for that. So thank you! Don't stop sharing! EVER!
So what else happened in June? I went to my first concert in the park, ate/drank at a gastropub, and had a few long conversations with a guy from the UK. Realized Bernice has suffered her first serious scrape/scratch to mar her lovely panels, went to the first joint birthday party for my niece and nephew, and bought my very first camcorder. Sparked conversation with my hunky downstairs neighbor, started biting my nails again, realized if things are too good to be true they probably are, and had my first house guest since moving in (Jill.) Officially went back to blond (always going back,) started again and ALMOST finished editing my second book, and lastly realized the link to "26 Golden Things" on YouTube is officially active for anyone who wants to watch it.
I don't know why about that last part though... initially YouTube wouldn't post it for the public because of the amount of songs in it and the copyrights, but I guess they changed their tune? Said video is posted below: watch it, share it, and hopefully like it because it took a long time to make and a lot of you are in it. Ciao for now (c:
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