the december update (1 of 2)

Part I (Part II Here)

Ahhhh yes, we come to it at last.  Not only the final month of the year but also the final blogs of the year.  I thought a few times this month about popping a blog out just to show I was still alive but then I'd find something else that needed my attention a little more and thus was drawn away.  I do feel bad though about letting so much time go by between these... and now that I've said it we can move riiiiight along.  With a little bit of magic, December traipsed right through the door and I was more than ready for it to do so.  So much happened this month (and I wrote absolutely none of it down) that I have to split this update into two, just like I did back in March albeit this will be a smidgen happier than busted ankles and the last of my grandparents passing away.  There is a link to Part II at the top and the bottom of this page, and vice-versa to the next one.  Make sure you read it allllllllll.

When I think of December I think of Christmas and my birthday.  I think of the last week of the year and how in seven days it goes from Christmas Eve to Christmas day to my birthday to New Year's Eve and wraps itself up with New Years day.  Technically that would be the 8th day but who's counting other than me?  Unless you are.  In which case... d'ya want a medal or something?  It is my absolute favorite favorite FAVORITE month of the year because all 31 days feel like they are a holiday to me.  It's the one month of the year when mostly everyone (save for anyone not celebrating the holiday due to religious affiliations) is united for one purpose.

They are shopping for one purpose.  Buying for one purpose.  Kinda being mean to me at my store, but always for one purpose.  Christmas.  I've said before that working retail makes you privy to a very specific type of person.  Being on the other end of people spending money has always been interesting because it can bring out the best in them, but most of the time it just brings out the worst.  Which is fine I guess because it's their money and some people are funny about spending it.

I just love when it's the people who have a shit ton of it but don't want to give it away by any means.

At Pottery Barn we collect donations to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital every year.  Last year was my first time and I didn't really get into it (sorry), but this year I did because I had a better understanding of the program and how much good it does.  There are a lot of organizations that collect money for children's hospitals, cancer research, etc., but did you know St. Jude's not only uses 100% of the funds raised to research cancer and other diseases but it also gives that research to every other hospital/research center for free?  That they house any families staying with them for free?  That the care they offer is free?  That's pretty special, and I'm typically the last person to give to charity so to get me to buy into it was a big deal.

My annoyingly perfect wrapping.  And no visible tape, thanks very much!

Now, we start the collection process in mid-November and it stops about half way through December, but those weeks are crucial to getting donations in the store.  We even had an incentive of offering handmade gift-tags for any donation a guest made.  You can see them above; I made a point of letting everyone know when they opened my present how much of a do-gooder I was this year by donating.  Aaaaaand suddenly right now I am realizing I've spent way too much time talking about this.  Final bit: I raised over $150 this year for St. Jude's, which is about... $125 more than I raised last year, lol.  It all comes out in the wash I suppose.

At the very beginning of the month Pottery Barn was invited to take part in a wedding show at Lawrence University in the Warch Campus Center, this beautiful addition they made to the school a few years ago that is super fancy for the kids that go there.  The lady running the event wanted us there to set up our own table and then decorate a few others so that prospective clients (it wasn't just weddings, technically it was for any sort of party you were planning) could see what we offer and take the bate.  The day started at 7 am for me, doing the normal opening routines at work and unloading the monstrous shipment that came in from our delivery truck.  Then we loaded up a massive table called the "Cortona" and a couple cars worth of product to haul seven miles or so toward the campus.  I helped set up, had to take off for the store to cover a couple breaks, and then I was done for the day at like... two pm.  I think.

As much as I would have liked to have helped with the event for my store, I had a different calling that evening.

Courtney, myself, Melissa and Barb.  Now lemme explain the tux.

My extended day was due in large part to the fact I had been asked to model a tuxedo that evening for a local company.  I had obligations for work to fill so to make sure I could do everything I wanted to, I took everything else on.  Not that I'm complaing because the exhaustion didn't hit me until the end of the night, but still, it was a lot to do.  From work I drove to the tuxedo rental place for a final fitting, ONLY to discover that the chick had picked up my tux already and that meant I'd only be able to try it on at the campus.  This did not bode well as rarely if EVER do tuxedos fit me.  Chalk it up to the incompetence of the people who do the fittings.

I went home and cleaned myself up and then hurried to the Warch Center because it was kinda snowing/freezing raining outside.  After hunting down the lady in charge because the directions on what the "models" were supposed to do were super sketchy, I found a room of young ladies covered in somewhat... alarming amounts of makeup.  They were wearing HUGE heels, taking selfies, laughing hysterically but nervously because they were uncomfortable, and then of course staring at me and wondering who the hell I was standing in the doorway.

Sean Parker (self-proclaimed author), obviously.  Duh.

Long story short, I find my tuxedo, put it on, and whimper at how bad I'm drowning in it.  I may or may not have swirled in the mirror in the bathroom and mumbled in the voice of a woman in her upper 60's from New York high society "I'm simply drowning in this thing!"  The jacket fit in the shoulders but could easily wrap around my abdomen twice.  The shirt was a billowing blouse.  The vest was SO big I had to take a safety pin to gather it behind me and STILL that fucking thing had room to spare!  How mortifying, but not for myself, just for the company.  Mostly my duty for the evening (unpaid) was to march around and look pretty.  Which obviously isn't hard for me ::tosses hair:: but it was still work, especially after a long day.  And the shoes killed my feet.  So yes, everyone take a good look at me and how bad the tuxedos fit from Dubois.

The event ended up being somewhat of a bust as the bad weather kept people away (and the stupidly-high cost the public had to pay to get in) but it was still fun.  There was very fancy food made by the excellent staff of the Warch Center including but not limited to several types of pies in shot glasses, and of course some area business people it never hurts to get to know a little better.  Specifically Kim Thiel, a wonderful photographer in the area.  She had a terrific booth set up and I spent some time talking to her and her husband throughout the evening.  Obviously Kim took the above picture, which was at the very end of the night when the models all got champagne for the picture and we were posed around a table and fire.  You can't see it, but there is a fire going.  And it was incredibly, INCREDIBLY hot.  I stared into that girl's eyes for like five minutes but it felt like eternity; there was sweat rolling down our faces and we both kept laughing.

Her breath was good though so I can't complain.

After that event I fell into the usual routine the holiday season brings to the mall.  Watched the kids seeing Santa (who is outside our store every year) scream and cry, wrapped loads of gifts people were buying for friends family and loved ones, and just waited patiently for the month to progress.  I'd made friends through a co-worker of mine, @ranitamcdonald, with @mrmrsmills and because of that, had been invited to the Mills holiday party at a country club in the area.  That wasn't until the 21st though so there was some time to kill.

This has been a particularly cold winter so far and it has also been a very snowy one.  The best thing about that is it makes Paolo and Sophia (not so much her) much more snuggly.  Being in the position I'm in at the store (and Courtney as well,) we aren't allowed to take a full weekend off in the month of December.  We can take one Saturday and one Sunday, or some combination of the days, but not together.  So she took two Sundays off and I took two Saturdays and the above picture was how I spent one of them, curled on the couch catching up on like 8 hours of television shows while Paolo caressed my neck in some form or another.  

I'm trying so hard to remember things I did in the interim because the 21st and onward is for the next blog.  That's the real juicy stuff (I know you wanna read it...)  Around the middle of the month I finished all of my shopping with a week or two to spare, which is somewhat typical of me but always comes as a surprise.  I stress out about what to buy for people to the point that it starts taking a physical toll on me (I think that's why my neck started tensing up early in the month) but when I just sit down and either buy it online or just go to the damn store, I finish it all up super fast and there is no harm done.  The neck thing ended up getting worse though.

I shall call her Regina George.

The big purchase for me this month was of course a KitchenAid mixer.  I've always wanted one, as long as I can remember, but never thought I'd get much use out of it.  I mean really, how much can you make with that thing?  I hardly ever bake sweets, I prefer a hand-mixer for mashed potatoes, and generally my culinary talents lay dormant until it's an emergency and I am forced to do something.

I'll tell ya this though; I've had the damn thing for less than three weeks and I've used it probably a dozen times.  From cookies... to cookies, I've been busy.  There was other stuff but I can't think of it now.  The first time I used it I just dumped flour in it to see what it looked like turned on.

No one ever said I wasn't simple.

OH!  I made cupcakes with it today!

That's all for Part I though.  Click the link below (I figured out how to make links!  Maybe I'm not so dumb after all! (Unless it doesn't work (don't tell me if it doesn't work))) to continue the adventure!  If that's what you wanna call it!  Or the story.  A story is more accurate.

Onward to Part II!

the december update (2 of 2)

I assume you already read Part I.  

If you didn't, what's wrong with you?

As I mentioned earlier, I was invited to a holiday party.  This wasn't an Ugly Sweater party or a White Elephant party, but a "Black Tie Event" type of situation.  One where the invitation was like a wedding invite and it stated the words "jacket and tie required."  Now before I go any further, let me state I've never been to an affair like this.  I've been to a fancy wedding before, and I've been to a couple of corporate holiday parties, but nothing like this.  Immediately I went out and bought a bow tie, natch. After a few conversations about said event with some friends, I discovered @markstyleme and Miss T (pictured top right) would also be going, along with the friends I had already made through my co-worker @ranitamcdonald (pictured lower right.)

To say I was excited would be an understatement and really I was just counting down the days until the 21st.  Instead of the year ending in a good week, it would end in an awesome 10 days.  10 days of things to look forward to!  You can't beat that any way you look at it.  Eventually the day was here and I had to work most of it at the store but I was able to get home and cleaned up with enough time to then pick up my fellow invitees.  It is remarkable to look at the pictures of me in that awful fitting tuxedo from the wedding event to then take a peek at me in a suit I purchased during my tenure at Express.

What I just adore about places like Dubois Bridal & Formalwear (where the first tuxedo came from) is that they have ONE job to do and they can't even do it right.  When the man had measured me I kept interjecting what my sizes should be.  He nodded with half an ear, took his measurements (that were horribly inaccurate in the end) and went about his business.  The above pictures are how a tuxedo should fit, ladies and germs.  Without needing safety pins to pull that shit back.

But I digress.

The party was at North Shore Country Club, a place I'd never been to before (something about not being a member, whatevs) but was just a short drive to get to.  To quote Lorde, the night was "lux."  Valet service, an open bar of whatever you wanted, 10-foot long ice sculptures to hold all of the shrimp, lobster and crab legs you could imagine.  There were three areas to choose from for dinner, one with fresh sushi, one with chefs on hand to make whatever stir-fry you wanted (choose the ingredients right there,) and one with "home cooking," like beef tenderloin, fingerling potatoes, chicken and lamb.  There was a alo a huge dessert bar we didn't really venture to but it looked pretty fantastic and I'm sure tasted as such.

There was a live band that played later in the evening and there was a lot of drunken dancing to watch.  @markstyleme left early due to a commitment to another party, but Miss T and I spent the evening together laughing and talking with so many great new people and really just soaking it all in.  Rarely do I get the chance to dress up, to in a sense to become someone else by rubbing shoulders with a different crowd, and just let loose.  But even for us we left around 11:30 because I worked in the morning and had yet another big day ahead of me.  Had we been drunk we could have taken a limo home (for free,) but I couldn't leave the car and alas, I had not had too much to drink.

Earlier in the week (that had been a Saturday night) I was invited to the Packer game against the Steelers by @mrmrsmills through @ranitamcdonald (these @'s are annoying, I know, but I only use Twitter or Instagram handles if the people have them.)  Mills Fleet Farm has its own gate at Lambeau Field (which I didn't know because I'm admittedly ignorant about sports) and of course it has a box.  We wouldn't be in the actual box but we'd still be indoors at the Miller Light Party Deck and it was all already paid for.  I didn't know what the party deck was either but, y'know... c'est la vie.

I went to the Mills household around noon on the 22nd to meet up with the group I'd be travelling with.  After waiting around for a bit we loaded onto a limo bus (never knew there was such a thing (still ignorant as hell)) and began the drive to Green Bay.  Normally this is a 30 minute commute but with game traffic in the northbound lanes and the snowstorm that was going all night and until about 11:30 am, it took an hour in a half.  The drive itself was a blast and there wasn't ever a moment where I thought "I need to get the fuuuuuck out of here."  I sat next to @ranitamcdonald on the bus and laughed the drive away while getting to know the newer people in my life.

Once we got to the stadium we had a short walk to get inside (top left.)  I'd only been to Lambeau once before and it was just a month earlier so this was all new to me.  When you see the stadium from the road it is obviously impressive but walking along the side you just can't imagine the enormity of it and how impressive it really is.  We had our tickets checked several times in our ascension through the stadium (cold as shit outside, too) until we were at the Party Deck.  So you go in these doors (that they open for you) and you're given a lanyard to hold your ticket (bottom left picture) along with a bracelet with two drink tokens.  They explain there are three concession stands in this really long room, two of which are filled with all the free food and soda you want and one of which has the beer.

You get this great view of the field (top right) and if you want to go outside you've got assigned seats as well.  Not the bleachers the rest of the stadium gets but pretty nice plastic folding seats with cupholders.

Because clearly that's the most impressive thing I can mention.

We decided to stick inside for two reasons, 1) we weren't dressed properly and 2) it was just more comfortable that way.  We settled at a high-top table near the windows and hilarity ensued.  There were spilled drinks, spilled cheese curds, a girl who ran past the table at one point and puked on the floor and was then escorted out for being a big fuckin' mess, and of course the screams of the fans outside.

If you wanted hard liquor you had to leave the Party Deck and go to the common area in the main stadium, which was fine.  I went with the girls once to do so and I must say, as nice as it is being inside a heated lounge with leather chairs and all that, you do miss out on some of the spirit going on in the stadium.  The deafening roar of Packer fans is just insane and I really have to hand it to them for coming out and giving it their best, even when the team really isn't.  That's not a jab at the Packers.... but they did lose.  Did you know tickets have sold out for every single Packer home game since 1960?

Now you do.

At one point during the game we decided to go to heaven.  At least, heaven is what they call it unofficially.  It's actually the tippy-top of Lambeau field and you need to have tickets to get up there as it is also the highest point in the city of Green Bay.  There are two jumbo-trons in the stadium but this one is the larger of the two, added to the south end of the field for the 2013 renovation.  Standing up here, above it all, was just incredible.  The sound coming off the field was so intense I just can't describe it.  It was snowing and the snow falling through the floodlights above the field was beautiful.  And it was also freezing cold and the snow was blinding in our eyes (worth mentioning, y'know.)

It was one of those moments I was just happy to be where I was.  With new friends, experiencing something I'd never done before and maybe wouldn't get the chance to again, and at no cost.  After the game we piled back onto the limo bus and made the drive home; it felt so much later than it really was (hardly 8 pm) but that was a testament to the excitement and adrenaline the day had offered.  Then there were just a few days left until Christmas!

Nothing huge happened between events; work got CRAZY in the final days of shopping but we held our own and had a blast.  I officially threw my back out (already had the sore neck) by slipping on the ice outside of my apartment.  I didn't fall (I was holding on to my car) but I tensed my body up so bad that I felt the pop in my neck and that sucked a big one for more than a week after.

On Christmas Eve my boss Courtney and I had our picture taken with Santa shortly before he left the mall for the season and headed back to his home in Montan... the north pole.  I have to say, even though this was his 18th year at the mall, he is still the nicest man ever.  You would never know if he was having a bad day by any means, he is so damn positive about everything.  What's particularly amazing about him is his ability to remember people.  Some of the families that come for a picture have been coming to him since the kids were babies and are now adults, and he remembers them.

Last year when I had started at Pottery Barn, it'd been almost two years since I'd actually seen him because the previous Christmas I had been working in Green Bay.  I'd never spoken to the man, never said hi, but when I would leave from Express every day he would give me a wave if no one was in line to see him.  So imagine my surprise when he walked into Pottery Barn his first day back, saw me, and said "So you're here now and not at Express?"

I about shit my pants.  Christmas magic INDEED!

Christmas this year was a little bit different for the family and I.  We've always been a "Christmas Morning" type of group but this year a few things had to change based on the availability of my nephew Brayden.  He had to go with his dad for Christmas day so we decided to celebrate on Christmas Eve at my sister's house.  At first you kind of grumble if you're not a fan of changing tradition, but then you get over it and get on with it.

In the end it didn't matter because what's important is being with your family.  I learned this lesson from Thanksgiving this year (refer to the November update for more on that) and really it was a lesson worth learning.  We ate a good dinner and then opened our gifts for each other.  My aunt Sally came through again with hysterical gifts (see my dad, above) that cracked us all up.  I got the Keurig I'd been hoping for (time to cut back on Starbucks, I'm sorry to say) and some movies as well as a couple other random gifts.

Belynn serenaded us with such a... soothing... rendition of Jingle Bells, while Brayden busted a move in the corner and Brynley danced her ass off in front.  It was certainly different from what we've done before as a collective unit and in the end I was glad for it.  Change it up and see what happens (more on that in the blog I'm posting tomorrow, so stay tuned.)

After the festivities I went home to prepare the things I needed to for Christmas morning brunch with my parents.  I made @klreynol's family recipe for grape salad, got the cinnamon rolls ready for baking, and then decided it'd be a good idea to try my hand at making stratta.  I always thought it was an Italian dish but I guess it's actually entirely American, based off the idea of a frittata or quiche.  For me, I layered chunks of english muffins, chopped breakfast sausage, mozzarella and cheddar cheese, chopped onions and red peppers, and then topped it all with beaten eggs and then crumbled bacon.

30 minute prep my ass; it took me an hour and a half!

In the morning when I woke up, I popped the stratta in the oven because it had to sit over night.  I made the cinnamon rolls, mixed the Poinsettia cocktails (champagne, cranberry juice and triple sec) and then waited for my parents.  It was the first time in my life I'd woken up alone on Christmas morning, and though it made me a little sad and feel a little lonely, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  And once my parents arrived it was like any other Christmas before.

We ate brunch and enjoyed the drinks, opened a few more presents we had for each other and then settled into playing a nice game of Life.  I tried showing a card trick Miss T had taught me but I failed miserably at it several times, even after calling her for direction.  Proud to say I've now mastered it.  After the game we went and saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which was absolutely amazing, and then parted ways.  I saw a couple friends that evening but mostly just enjoyed the peace and quiet living alone offers.  It is what it is.  I made some cookies for my birthday party the next day but then it was off to bed as the clock turned on my year.

My birthday, or "Guhhh 28" as I liked to call it.  I went to my parents in the morning for lunch with them, my sister and her two girls.  My brother-in-law had to work, my nephew was still with his dad, and I hadn't thought to bring anyone with me.  And it was again, fine, because I never mind the quiet get-togethers.  We ate stroganoff (I'd been thinking about it for weeks,) mom made a German Chocolate cake, I blew out the candles and let it hit me that I'm older.  I don't necessarily feel older, but if I start to think about it I realize I am.

I realize how my priorities have shifted from what they used to be.  The things that once mattered so much don't really hold any meaning with me as they once did.  It's good and it's bad I suppose... and like I keep saying, it just is what it is.  I don't mind.

My parents recently took in a boat-load of birds from my dad's work and they are housing them in one of the barns they've now outfitted for the venture.  All I wanted to see was the dove.  They have this white male dove named "Dotsy" and while I don't particularly like birds, I couldn't wait to hold him.

Here I am getting emotional now.

I'm not going to get in depth right now because that's best reserved for the post tomorrow, but I will say it wasn't the best year for me.  With 26 being so great, I knew 27 was going to be a difficult one to follow.  The massive undertaking of the "26 Golden Things" project gave me a certain drive and dedication that was sorely missing from this year.  I couldn't help but look at holding the dove as a symbol of change.  A symbol of maybe finding some peace.  I don't think it's so wrong to hope for that, to want that, but it does make me feel silly saying it out loud.  Regardless, I held the damn bird, took a selfie (surprisingly the only picture of me on my birthday) and then put the bird away.

I briefly went home for a quick nap and then I packed up my shit and headed over to Miss T's for my birthday party.  I made a "Guhhh 28" drink dispenser of Poinsettias and I was super pleased people drank it until it was gone.  Last year I made a "#27 Surprise" drink dispenser that essentially tasted as if it were filled with lighter fluid and as a result, I was the only one to drink it.  And subsequently get wasted.

This year I kept the party small and intimate.  I invited the people I see on an almost daily basis, the people that mean the absolute most to me that have kept up with me throughout the year, and the people I wanted to show my appreciation to.  I understand there were a few select individuals who felt betrayed by this, and a few who felt I stabbed them in the back for not inviting them.  To that I would just like to say this: it was my birthday, it was not for you to dictate, and shame on you for trying to make me feel shitty about it.  It wasn't some RAGING party but just a reflection on the year and a simple "You're old, let's have a drink."

I made meatballs and cookies, @klreynol made Crab Rangoon dip, and Miss T supplied ham sandwiches and her artichoke/spinach dip.  There were a few other things to nosh on as well but those were the big ones.  @markstyleme clearly liked my balls.  We chatted and drank, eventually played "The Game of Things" (best game ever (@caitcd and her "wiveo")) and had a delicious cake.  I opened gifts, loved each of them equally, and then mostly everyone left around 11.  @markstyleme, @klreynol,  Scout, and Miss T and J (who live there) stayed though and that was when my night was made.  J brought down one of his guitars (he plays in Road Trip (awesome band (check 'em out here))) and serenaded us.

Now, I'm always massively impressed by anyone who can play an instrument let alone play it well.  But J has the remarkable ability of hearing a song he doesn't know, listening to it twice, and then playing it back on the guitar.  I got tears in my eyes from excitement over this (the same thing happens when I see magic tricks in person, shut up) and we just had a blast.  We talked and drank and sang, and really it was the best ending to a birthday I could ever imagine.  It was one of the best birthdays I ever had, and that includes my 26th and all of the surprises that came with it.  I drove home with a huge smile on my face.

And with that the month started coming to a final close.  The year as well, I suppose.  Tonight I will join @klreynol and Miss T before we head to @ranitamcdonald's house for a bit to celebrate New Year's Eve.  From there we will head to Miss T's, eat and drink and play some games, just in time for 2014 to come swinging through the gate.

So what else happened in December?  Made wonderful new friends in Paul, Kelly and Rachel.  Played "The Game of Things" with Paul, Kelly Miss T and J and laughed so hard over the course of four hours I had a pounding headache from doing so.  Treated my fucked up back, decided I really don't like most beers, and reconnected with Ken after two years of silence.  Stopped hoping for something that'll just never happen, realized our friends are what we make of them, and chose to be content with what I have now.  Ate at a steakhouse for the first time in years, actually loved seeing the second Hobbit movie, got into it with the bitch troll from hell at the Post Office, and FINALLY (and most importantly) realized I can touch my bangs with my tongue.  Grow hair, grow!

And that's all I have to say about that.  Take care, have a safe and wonderful New Year, and I'll see you all tomorrow with "a new resolution part III."  Ciao gang (c;

Did you miss Part I?  Find it HERE