the december update (1 of 2)

Part I (Part II Here)

Ahhhh yes, we come to it at last.  Not only the final month of the year but also the final blogs of the year.  I thought a few times this month about popping a blog out just to show I was still alive but then I'd find something else that needed my attention a little more and thus was drawn away.  I do feel bad though about letting so much time go by between these... and now that I've said it we can move riiiiight along.  With a little bit of magic, December traipsed right through the door and I was more than ready for it to do so.  So much happened this month (and I wrote absolutely none of it down) that I have to split this update into two, just like I did back in March albeit this will be a smidgen happier than busted ankles and the last of my grandparents passing away.  There is a link to Part II at the top and the bottom of this page, and vice-versa to the next one.  Make sure you read it allllllllll.

When I think of December I think of Christmas and my birthday.  I think of the last week of the year and how in seven days it goes from Christmas Eve to Christmas day to my birthday to New Year's Eve and wraps itself up with New Years day.  Technically that would be the 8th day but who's counting other than me?  Unless you are.  In which case... d'ya want a medal or something?  It is my absolute favorite favorite FAVORITE month of the year because all 31 days feel like they are a holiday to me.  It's the one month of the year when mostly everyone (save for anyone not celebrating the holiday due to religious affiliations) is united for one purpose.

They are shopping for one purpose.  Buying for one purpose.  Kinda being mean to me at my store, but always for one purpose.  Christmas.  I've said before that working retail makes you privy to a very specific type of person.  Being on the other end of people spending money has always been interesting because it can bring out the best in them, but most of the time it just brings out the worst.  Which is fine I guess because it's their money and some people are funny about spending it.

I just love when it's the people who have a shit ton of it but don't want to give it away by any means.

At Pottery Barn we collect donations to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital every year.  Last year was my first time and I didn't really get into it (sorry), but this year I did because I had a better understanding of the program and how much good it does.  There are a lot of organizations that collect money for children's hospitals, cancer research, etc., but did you know St. Jude's not only uses 100% of the funds raised to research cancer and other diseases but it also gives that research to every other hospital/research center for free?  That they house any families staying with them for free?  That the care they offer is free?  That's pretty special, and I'm typically the last person to give to charity so to get me to buy into it was a big deal.

My annoyingly perfect wrapping.  And no visible tape, thanks very much!

Now, we start the collection process in mid-November and it stops about half way through December, but those weeks are crucial to getting donations in the store.  We even had an incentive of offering handmade gift-tags for any donation a guest made.  You can see them above; I made a point of letting everyone know when they opened my present how much of a do-gooder I was this year by donating.  Aaaaaand suddenly right now I am realizing I've spent way too much time talking about this.  Final bit: I raised over $150 this year for St. Jude's, which is about... $125 more than I raised last year, lol.  It all comes out in the wash I suppose.

At the very beginning of the month Pottery Barn was invited to take part in a wedding show at Lawrence University in the Warch Campus Center, this beautiful addition they made to the school a few years ago that is super fancy for the kids that go there.  The lady running the event wanted us there to set up our own table and then decorate a few others so that prospective clients (it wasn't just weddings, technically it was for any sort of party you were planning) could see what we offer and take the bate.  The day started at 7 am for me, doing the normal opening routines at work and unloading the monstrous shipment that came in from our delivery truck.  Then we loaded up a massive table called the "Cortona" and a couple cars worth of product to haul seven miles or so toward the campus.  I helped set up, had to take off for the store to cover a couple breaks, and then I was done for the day at like... two pm.  I think.

As much as I would have liked to have helped with the event for my store, I had a different calling that evening.

Courtney, myself, Melissa and Barb.  Now lemme explain the tux.

My extended day was due in large part to the fact I had been asked to model a tuxedo that evening for a local company.  I had obligations for work to fill so to make sure I could do everything I wanted to, I took everything else on.  Not that I'm complaing because the exhaustion didn't hit me until the end of the night, but still, it was a lot to do.  From work I drove to the tuxedo rental place for a final fitting, ONLY to discover that the chick had picked up my tux already and that meant I'd only be able to try it on at the campus.  This did not bode well as rarely if EVER do tuxedos fit me.  Chalk it up to the incompetence of the people who do the fittings.

I went home and cleaned myself up and then hurried to the Warch Center because it was kinda snowing/freezing raining outside.  After hunting down the lady in charge because the directions on what the "models" were supposed to do were super sketchy, I found a room of young ladies covered in somewhat... alarming amounts of makeup.  They were wearing HUGE heels, taking selfies, laughing hysterically but nervously because they were uncomfortable, and then of course staring at me and wondering who the hell I was standing in the doorway.

Sean Parker (self-proclaimed author), obviously.  Duh.

Long story short, I find my tuxedo, put it on, and whimper at how bad I'm drowning in it.  I may or may not have swirled in the mirror in the bathroom and mumbled in the voice of a woman in her upper 60's from New York high society "I'm simply drowning in this thing!"  The jacket fit in the shoulders but could easily wrap around my abdomen twice.  The shirt was a billowing blouse.  The vest was SO big I had to take a safety pin to gather it behind me and STILL that fucking thing had room to spare!  How mortifying, but not for myself, just for the company.  Mostly my duty for the evening (unpaid) was to march around and look pretty.  Which obviously isn't hard for me ::tosses hair:: but it was still work, especially after a long day.  And the shoes killed my feet.  So yes, everyone take a good look at me and how bad the tuxedos fit from Dubois.

The event ended up being somewhat of a bust as the bad weather kept people away (and the stupidly-high cost the public had to pay to get in) but it was still fun.  There was very fancy food made by the excellent staff of the Warch Center including but not limited to several types of pies in shot glasses, and of course some area business people it never hurts to get to know a little better.  Specifically Kim Thiel, a wonderful photographer in the area.  She had a terrific booth set up and I spent some time talking to her and her husband throughout the evening.  Obviously Kim took the above picture, which was at the very end of the night when the models all got champagne for the picture and we were posed around a table and fire.  You can't see it, but there is a fire going.  And it was incredibly, INCREDIBLY hot.  I stared into that girl's eyes for like five minutes but it felt like eternity; there was sweat rolling down our faces and we both kept laughing.

Her breath was good though so I can't complain.

After that event I fell into the usual routine the holiday season brings to the mall.  Watched the kids seeing Santa (who is outside our store every year) scream and cry, wrapped loads of gifts people were buying for friends family and loved ones, and just waited patiently for the month to progress.  I'd made friends through a co-worker of mine, @ranitamcdonald, with @mrmrsmills and because of that, had been invited to the Mills holiday party at a country club in the area.  That wasn't until the 21st though so there was some time to kill.

This has been a particularly cold winter so far and it has also been a very snowy one.  The best thing about that is it makes Paolo and Sophia (not so much her) much more snuggly.  Being in the position I'm in at the store (and Courtney as well,) we aren't allowed to take a full weekend off in the month of December.  We can take one Saturday and one Sunday, or some combination of the days, but not together.  So she took two Sundays off and I took two Saturdays and the above picture was how I spent one of them, curled on the couch catching up on like 8 hours of television shows while Paolo caressed my neck in some form or another.  

I'm trying so hard to remember things I did in the interim because the 21st and onward is for the next blog.  That's the real juicy stuff (I know you wanna read it...)  Around the middle of the month I finished all of my shopping with a week or two to spare, which is somewhat typical of me but always comes as a surprise.  I stress out about what to buy for people to the point that it starts taking a physical toll on me (I think that's why my neck started tensing up early in the month) but when I just sit down and either buy it online or just go to the damn store, I finish it all up super fast and there is no harm done.  The neck thing ended up getting worse though.

I shall call her Regina George.

The big purchase for me this month was of course a KitchenAid mixer.  I've always wanted one, as long as I can remember, but never thought I'd get much use out of it.  I mean really, how much can you make with that thing?  I hardly ever bake sweets, I prefer a hand-mixer for mashed potatoes, and generally my culinary talents lay dormant until it's an emergency and I am forced to do something.

I'll tell ya this though; I've had the damn thing for less than three weeks and I've used it probably a dozen times.  From cookies... to cookies, I've been busy.  There was other stuff but I can't think of it now.  The first time I used it I just dumped flour in it to see what it looked like turned on.

No one ever said I wasn't simple.

OH!  I made cupcakes with it today!

That's all for Part I though.  Click the link below (I figured out how to make links!  Maybe I'm not so dumb after all! (Unless it doesn't work (don't tell me if it doesn't work))) to continue the adventure!  If that's what you wanna call it!  Or the story.  A story is more accurate.

Onward to Part II!