As 2014 drew to a close, I couldn't help but look back on it with a little bit of wonder. The year before admittedly had not be the best ever. Conversely, the one before that had been. I've written about this little "yang-yang" things before. So it was with a little trepidation I greeted 2014 and moved forward, knowing there were potentially big changes coming, a few littles ones to spice the pot, and of course two massive changes I could not have anticipated when the clock the struck midnight.
When I write a resolution, I'm doing something very particular. I'm assembling a structure... almost like a building. Let's say it's a skyscraper! If you know me at all, you know I'm a fan of explosions (read my book) and the destruction of things like that in general. So if my resolutions are skyscrapers, then my aim is to knock them right the fuck down. I do it as a way of challenging myself; as if to say "Hey, I dare you to do this!"
Add to that and make it a triple-dog-dare and obviously I won't be backing down.
One year ago today I wrote about the true meaning of resolutions, or at least what I felt they should be. A really good New Year's resolution should never be about making yourself more attractive or fit, it should instead be about your inward examination. What it is about you or your life that you are unhappy with, what you can do to change it, and what the end result would be by changing it. I feel that if you can pick one or two things a years you want to work on, you're well on the way to true happiness.
In 2013's July Update (which you can read here) I wrote about my trip to Austin, TX to visit my big brother. That trip was a moment of change for two reasons. First reason? It was the last time I cut my hair off! I felt you needed to know that.
::tosses nearly shoulder length hair::
The second reason of course was deciding I would move away from Wisconsin within the next two years. Before I turned 30, actually. It was easy to say something like that when I was 27... at 28 it got a little scarier because it was a little bit closer. But for whatever reason at 29, and though my throat gets tight to think about it, I'm just ready. So what is my official 2015 resolution?
In 2015 I will move away from Wisconsin.
It's heartbreaking and terrifying and exhilarating and tremendous in every meaning of the word, but there it is. There ya have it. And I didn't say Austin (though that remains my goal) because I'm open to anywhere I suppose. I'm open to the possibilities of going to a place I've never been and doing things I've never done. I'm open and and willing to explore and experience and hopefully finally stop feeling like I am missing out on the world.
That's what my inward examination has shown me. Habitually I feel like everything is happening to everyone around me, always has, and I'm just standing by watching. 2012 showed me I know how to take the reins and do things on my own. 2013 proved I can rise above some truly devastating things and shoulder onward with a steady determination. As for 2014?
2014 was a year that showed me how good things happen if you are a good person with a good heart. When the year kicked off, I had no idea it would end with three months of three consecutive huge things: @klreynol moving away in October, becoming the General Manager of Pottery Barn in lieu of my boss having her baby in November, and falling head-over-heels in love with Derek in December. And what of my resolution for 2014 of getting published? Well I certainly did publish my book (read about that here or here) in August and that was the goal I set for myself. It was everything I thought it would be, and now it's done and out there and I can move on to the sequels without any qualms or worries that I won't be able to do it. If anything I feel more determined now than ever before.
I'm really excited to move forward with 2015 and discover what it will bring for me. I think I will look at this year as one of discovery in general. New places, faces and things. New hopes, new dreams, new surroundings. Did you know I had more than 5,900 blog views in 2014 alone? That's nearly as many views as I had in the two and a half years preceding, and what does that say about me? It says this self-proclaimed (technically no longer self-proclaimed) author has something going for him. Maybe it's small apples right now, but those seeds have a way of growing.
I'm ready to grow and I'm pretty sure all of you are ready to grow with me. My friends, my family, my loved ones... the old ones, the new ones, my boyfriend, my exes, all of you... let's do this together like we have since I started. I'm so happy to include you all in my life and I'm so excited to have you all with me as I continue. Here's to a good year (c:
I'll leave you with a video as I usually do. This is the first time I'm posting a video in a blog that I have posted once before, but re-reading the 2013 July Update had me watching and it just hit me. All of it. Who's going to miss me when I'm gone?
Ciao for now (c;
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