Christ, get a hobby, right?
2015 started with some pretty high hopes and I'm pleased to say that 31 days in, I'm still fairly hopeful. January sort of handed me a couple bitch slaps coming from a few different directions but I'm still standing and that's all that matters. Unfortunately this time around I can't say "I've dealt with this before," because for the most part it was stuff I had never before figured out on my own. But I shouldered through it and in the end that's what counts.
Work is hard. Love is easy. Why did it take me so long to figure that out? To realize it's not the other way around? I always thought work was the thing that came as second nature to me and I could just do it with my eyes closed. Maybe not for the first several months at my current job, but eventually I got the hang of it and at this point I can do anything you ask me to there. With love, I felt the opposite. With my track record it hardly ever works out for me; I struggle to find a middle ground with people and end up getting so annoyed with them (or myself) that I just cut ties and leave it in the dust.
I forgot how when you meet the right person, everything just clicks like magic and suddenly love becomes as easy as breathing. You're probably wondering what this has to do with a monthly update and I'm getting to it.
Geeze!
I thought when Christmas was over and the holidays wrapped up, my job would be easier. December really wore me down, both in spirit and health, and I was so looking forward to a calm January that would allow me to regroup my self-esteem, rally around and come back full-force. That didn't happen.
For starters I kept getting sick. There was a triumphant return of what ailed me in December, a couple other nasties to boot, and then influenza to cap it off. I'm sure a lot of my sickness(es) had to do with work and the constant stress and pressure I was/am under, and maybe it's only coincidental that I started healing up as the problems started clearing out. Who knows? What I do know is it got bad enough I had to call into work for the first time in a year.
Coincidentally, it was the same week I called in with the flu last year. And the year before, though thankfully this bout didn't involve puking or any other sort of projectiles from my body aside from snot.
You're welcome.
And the grievances things with work varied. My staff was burnt out from the holidays, but with several key-members leaving the team I couldn't give them a break because I simply didn't have enough bodies working in the store to do so. A full-time visual manager gave me a 6 day notice (I'd like you to picture what my face looked like when that happened). The mall had us move our off-site storage facility, downsizing from 1,000 square feet to about 500 square feet. And the month was spent prepping for our physical inventory that takes place on February 2nd (arguably the most important event of the year).
I had some help moving off-site but a large portion was by myself. You start to get the feeling that while you can ask for help, people don't really want to help anymore. To be fair, several of them do, but you stop wanting them to do so because they've done enough already. Does that make sense? I am ever appreciative to the associates and managers that stepped up to the plate because they willingly took on as much as I was willing to give up. It's not that I was going for martyrdom, because I wasn't, but I'm that classic case of "No, I'll do it myself," and then I know it's done the right way.
That mentality didn't stretch into every aspect of work, for the most part I turned to everyone else in regards to preparing for inventory and just said "You need to do this please." I never thought taking this role as General Manager would be as challenging as it has been, but you live and learn and I've definitely learned. For better or worse. The song I'm using this month (below) inspired the blog because it sums up January for me. And while this experience was a whole lot of "new" for me, there were familiar threads in the story I'd already been living.
I'm used to the solo dance, in work or life, and when you keep having to do the dance by yourself, all it does is build a little more character.
When it comes to love, I found myself coming to rely on Derek for so much more than just companionship. He took care of me when I was sick and provided a listening ear when I just needed to vent. I had a lot of tears this month, mostly in the few private moments I was able to sequester myself into, but they still happened. Every now and then you just need a good cry. To let it out... to keep something in... to pull up your big-girl panties and get on with it.
You know what I mean. If you don't, get bent.
Other than that, life has been moving on. The weather was pretty decent throughout the month and that always leaves me with a bit of a grin. I'm looking forward to it getting even warmer, a trip to Arizona (and maybe Texas) in the next couple months, and of course the summer of 2015 that will be here before we know it. This year just feels different. Does anyone else feel that or does the cheese stand alone? I'm keeping my options open for anything that will come my way and I'll try to be a little more proactive on sharing it when it does, but you know how these things go. Life gets in the way and then you're dead.
So what else happened in January? I read Amy Poehler's book "Yes Please" and loved it, then I started working on my second book yet again. Learned how to play Grand Theft Auto V and am having a blast, deciding videogames are a great way to get your mind off something for long periods of time, and I got my first-ever (needle) shot in the ass. Realized I actually do like tea, perfected my chess game, and in the end remembered that all storms come to an end and if you can find 'em, you're lucky to have someone to weather them with. I know I did.
Goodbye, January. You've always been my least favorite.
Toodles gang (c:
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