So, New Years Day, the only day of the year when people feel they can repent for past transgressions and expose a bright, shiny new exterior for the world to look at by merely saying they are going to "change." I think using the word "change" covers all manners of sins, don't you? You can be changing anything from not being a smoker any longer to not beating your spouse. Because who ever says they are going to change for the worse? No one that I know. People say they are going to change because they plan on changing into a better person. A transformation from weaker to stronger.
New Years resolutions are great things because they give us a reason to try. They give us a reason to lose those ten pounds, to stop smoking, to stop drinking so much. Reason to save a little money, let things go (or care a little more.) I think aside from this one day of the year, we require a fairly large life event to get us to want to change. Maybe we do it today because the rest of the world is and to do so means we are cool by association? I dunno.
What I do know is that by setting a goal for yourself you are setting a bar that only you yourself can reach. I'd always given up on reaching said bar in the past, usually within a few weeks of the holiday, but last year marked a change of pace in that. It is because of my achievements in 2012 that I feel I can set a few equally high ones for 2013. No, there will not be a cataloguing of a list of things like last year... that's a bit "been there done that" for me. At least until I'm 40 or something.
The biggest lesson I took from last year and my resolution of vowing to experience 26 new things is that by simply trying (and hopefully nailing it) you better yourself as an individual each day. Even if you do fail, at least you tried, and no one can ever blame a person for trying. We only blame the smokers when they try for a week and then start smoking again (I don't know why I'm on spewing so much vitriol for smokers today.... sorry if you're one of them, I still lurve you!) It was a step-by-step year to becoming something "else" and what that "else" would be, I never knew until the end.
The "else" that I became isn't necessarily leaps and bounds different than who I was before, but there has been a shift within me and a certain amount of clarity to the things that really matter and the trivial caca-doodoo that never did. I learned how to let go and just enjoy things as they came around. I love something Margaret Mitchell once wrote that I just found saved on my hard drive the other day. She wrote "I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived." Live and let die, c'est la vie, that whole song and dance. Lesson learned.
There was no kiss for me last night... there was no special individual to look at and think with a sigh "the fresh start begins with you." But there were a few great friends and the prospect that things are still changing for me. Whether they change to the point I'd like them to remains to be seen, but I'm open to the possibility and that's all I am about right now.
So for 2013, what do I have in store? I have four separate resolutions, because of course one is just NEVER enough. #overachiever
1. Take The Onyxus Chronicles: Episode I and spruce it up to meet my level of satisfaction. Send it off to a publisher. The idea of course being publication, but the goal actually being to just get the process started. No one ever got ahead by sitting on their behinds!
2. Speaking of behinds... get into the best physical shape I've ever been in. That's partially not a fair goal because I currently AM in the best shape I've ever been in, but there is always room to exceed, yes? There is no set goal for my appearance by the end of the year, just that it is better than it is now. I think that's plenty fair. But I did vow that if I had a six-pack by Halloween I would fore-go drag and actually be a dude. I may get a mixed response in that aspect.
3. Move out on my own. Enough said.
4. To quote an angry Norman Osborn is the original Spider-Man when he got stabbed in the back by that chubby coworker of his, "Back to formula?" Back to formula indeed! This year marks 12 years since I started writing my books. When I sat down the other day to begin re-reading the original (and subsequently re-editing it,) I was amazed at how much I missed it. After finishing the third book last June I didn't spend ANY time on the series for the rest of the year and that is just a crying shame because I love it so much. By saying I am going back to formula, I am saying that this year I will put a focus on playing up my strengths.
The great thing about last year was that I started to understand the things that I am good at that in some small way set me apart from everyone else. There were certain aspects of my personality that came to light and others that withered away, and I'm totally cool with it. So for 2013 I'd like to capitalize on my strengths and actually DO something with them. To be determined, or course.
In the end, who knows where I will be in 365 days, either geographically, mentally, or otherwise? A lot can change in a year.
I know I did.
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