a year in wisconsin

It's wild when you look back and see how far you've come in a year. There's so much that can change, shifting and rearranging in a myriad of ways. Not just in your house (of which there was plenty of that) but in your life in general. Moving away from a state you spent 7 years in, saying goodbye to some friends and hello to others, and watching those dynamics transform across the board. Some of it is sad to reminisce about, with not everything making the transition as perhaps I wanted, unscathed or not. Other bits are quite thrilling, with things working out better than I could have anticipated. And I think, in the end, it's the yin-yang of life that balances it all out.

Still sunburnt (tan?) from Australia, and tired, and driving for 5 hours.

In the fall, I wrote a blog, opening at the close, part ii, where I spoke to the uncertainty over my decision to move back to Wisconsin. Kismet aside from moving back to the state on the same day we originally moved here from California back in 1997 and the symmetry of it being 26 years later and all my bullshit regarding 26 Golden Things, was it the right choice? Seeing as it had only been about 6 months since moving, the jury was still out, and I said that I needed more time in order to really feel like it was the right choice.

It wouldn't be me if I didn't say the jury was still out, because it is. Sorry 'bout it. 

There's still no definitive answer, but I do lean toward it being the right decision for the time and not one that I regret. Opinions on timing change frequently, don't you think? It's a good idea sometimes to eat a huge bowl of ice cream at 9pm, and then the next morning you realize, hey, maybe it wasn't a good idea. I'm happy I don't feel that way about moving. I think someday I might move away again, but a lot of circumstances would be very, very different for me when that day comes, and I can't speak with total assuredness of that. 

Part of me still believes strongly that someday I'll move out of the country, but that would also be after certain life events transpire that I'd rather not think about. 

Traveling will suffice for now!

But no, apart from all that heavy stuff, it has been a great year. Four blogs about the house are dropping in two weeks, so I won't go into that here, but the year in Wisconsin started with my purchase of The Estate. It was a relief to take ownership, but it was a long, LONG, long nine months of working on it before I felt I could really take a step back and chill the fuck out. The year moved in interesting ways because of all that time spent on the house. 

In some fashion, time slows down in Wisconsin. Not in an "I hate this place because it never progresses and the world still does!" way because really, we're pretty incubated here in the Fox Valley from the crap going on elsewhere. I mean it in the sense that things just don't move or feel like they move as fast as they did in Minnesota. Sometimes, that's for the better because you can take it easy and enjoy the smaller things; sometimes, it's for the worse.

For the worse in terms of how I miss the access to concerts and the airport (honestly, the airport) and some restaurants, but all of that occurred so randomly and infrequently in my life that you can't be that upset about it. The trade-off comes from my original motivation in moving back to be near family and old friends, and I wouldn't discount that. I wouldn't give that away at all.

The other good that came with moving back, apart from friend and family relationships (because this is about me, after all, geeze), is that I've started turning my focus back to writing and the creative endeavors I used to crave so much. While work on my books has, to this point, not continued, the blogs have picked up speed, and I am very much on track to beat the 18 that I wrote back in 2015. 

By the end of March, I will have written 10 this year already (!!!), beating my results of the last 8 years. It feels great to actually want to write for myself again.

The other creative endeavor gets launched on March 27th, and there is a whole blog to write about that as well. Suffice it to say, it has been a really long time coming and a really huge amount of time spent figuring out what I wanted to do. Follow @restoring_sean on Instagram, or search restoring_sean on YouTube, and maybe subscribe to the channel? That's the only hint I'm dropping here on that! 

In a lot of ways, March is turning out to feel like a landslide is finally coming down the mountain I call my life. It's been there the whole time, stagnant, and over the last year, has shaken itself more and more loose. Now, a mere 12 days ahead of the big reveal of everything, I feel like it has taken on a life of its own and is just mowing down everything in its path. For better or worse. 

I honestly think about nothing else and it's driving me crazy, so... it'll be good to be free of it and be able to talk about it.

Sittin' in my kitchen a year later.

What living in Wisconsin all boils down to, in my humble opinion, is ease. 

I find it easy. 

I know where everything is, I rarely need my map; I live 14 minutes from my parents and 25 minutes from my sister and family. I live with one of my best friends, and several others are within 15 minutes of my house. The Estate sits on a quiet street in a community working very hard to update and upgrade itself. My job is good, my hair is good, if not crazy (natch), and really... life's just good. I could complain about several things, sure, but how else are ya gonna keep it interesting?

Ciao for now (c: